Godling's Glossary: D

The Distillers' Enforcement Apparatus, an army of masked thugs licensed to rob, defame, kidnap, or kill persons suspected of preferring other drugs over alcohol.
Death, n.
The only medicine currently available which can deliver one from the affliction known as government. It has a number of inconvenient side-effects which have a negative impact on the ability to achieve one's goals. The unpleasantness of these side-effects can be greatly reduced if the medicine is adminstered to the functionaries of the State instead of, as is usual, by them.
  1. n. The third Person of the programmer's Holy Trinity; the first two are the Editor and the Compiler.
  2. v. To unscrew, fundamentally.
Democracy, n.
An asylum run by the inmates. As Churchill admitted, "the worst form of government, except for all the others"; now getting so obviously awful that alternatives to government are finally getting the attention they deserve.
If X is the population of the United States and Y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that X x Y is less than Y.

-- H. L. Mencken

Dewar, n.
A vessel that sails through time instead of space. A jug for keeping one's honey in. The escrow account that holds the stakes when you bet your ass. A dewar is just like a mausoleum except that you might get out of a dewar some day; however, to date, the track records of the two are equal.
Disasturbate, v.
To idly fantasize about possible disasters, without considering their actual likelihood or the prospects for preventing them. Disasturbation, n.